THE MAN responsible for overseeing the upkeep of Dorset's roads yesterday admitted he would not drive his new Bentley in Dorset due to the risk of damaging it.
Peter McCarthy, who purchased the new Bentley Continental GT this morning, said that the state of the roads in the county was bad, but there was no money to fix them: "It is a sad state of affairs. I have this wonderful new car, but the roads are in such bad condition, I'd risk damaging the suspension if I drove it."
"Suddenly, there was just no more money to fill in potholes. I don't know where it went," said Mr McCarthy, hastily hiding his new iPhone, "But that's life, I suppose I shall have to go to Hampshire and drive this wonderful piece of machinery."
The Bentley, which has 567bhp, and a top speed of 198mph cost around £150,000, which completely and utterly did not come out of the road fixing budget. "I have just received my bonus, and I thought it was high time I treated myself," Mr McCarthy explained, "But I see that was a bit of a bad idea."
Meanwhile, the A35 near Christchurch has gained somewhat of a religious following. Worshippers are gathering on the grass verge and praying. When asked about the unusual behaviour, one convert said: "We've done some calculations, and this road is now holier than Jesus."
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