Poole Council to recycle Lib Dem councillors

POOLE COUNCIL has announced that a proposed £5m recycling centre on the Nuffield Estate will also be used to recycle Liberal Democrat councillors.

Jim Morris, Poole's Waste Services manager, said that an environmentally friendly method of disposing of unwanted or useless councillors was long overdue: "Our new plant will allow us to take obsolete, broken or unwanted councillors and MPs and turn them into something useful."


"For example, we are planning to recycle several Liberal Democrat councillors as they are no longer working - they say they'll do one thing, then do another. These will help the county's farmers, as they're full of enough shit to make a good-quality fertiliser."


If the trial is successful, the option to recycle politicians will be open to people all across the country. Poole Council believes that there could be over 600 politicians in the country which no longer work properly, or are just not needed any more. Whereas before, they would sit around in people's houses doing the occasional supermarket opening or, if lucky, a panel show, now they can be reused properly.

Small bin for politicians, big bin for their expenses claims

Liberal Democrat councillors were sceptical about the plan. Cllr Eamon Clarke said: "We're not convinced that it will always be a good thing to recycle councillors and MPs, as they normally continue to be useful long after they are designed to."


"That said, we've got Lembit Opik in the van for you."