The fight against mobile cameras would be won by simply creating several 'Mobile Chav Units', or MCUs, which can be positioned anywhere that anti-social behaviour is needed. The initiative was announced by Head of Chavving, Jordan Murphy, also known as "Sick Killa": "Well, what we thought was we just move away from the cameras, you get me? It's really simple, you get me?"
One of the new units, yesterday
In response, Bournemouth Council claimed that the mobile CCTV units were not the main problem: "The mobile cameras can be moved away from places where anti-social behaviour needs to take place. It's the fixed cameras that would cause most problems. We have to bear in mind that anti-social behaviour is a major source of income for the town, so we can't allow this burgeoning industry to be completely choked. We will, of course, come up with a solution for these. I'm thinking maybe a large building on the seafront of some sort. That usually works out well."
The move was hailed as a success by Chavs International. Their leader, Lord Nova of Wythenshawe, said that it heralded a new era: "It's a success for chavs, charvers, scallies, whatever you wanna say. I'm gonna whip it up and they'll be on their way. Ain't gonna lie about these cameras to the press, they's a menace and they make lives a mess. Them walls ain't graffiti-ing themselves, we rip up fences and tear down shelves. So Bournemouth Council hug yo' favourite teddy, cause the Mobile Chav Units..they's f--king ready."
He added: "You get what I'm saying, yo?"
To be honest, we didn't.
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