BOURNEMOUTH property magnate and Overlord of Chavs, Dave Wells, yesterday issued a letter to his tenants urging them to vote for whoever they wanted in the council elections...provided they had somewhere else to live.The inventor of the Ikea 'Kjaevhaus' flat-packed block of flats, Mr Wells, wrote to everyone who currently keeps him in scotch eggs, saying that although residents were "completely free" to vote for any candidates during the upcoming local elections, they really should vote for the Conservatives.
The letter added: "If we don't elect another Conservative council, then I will find it much more difficult to erect huge blocks of 1-bedroom flats in your road. And I'm going to need to find some other vacant properties. Yours will do just fine."
The latest Dave Wells Property development
Mr Wells defended his letter, saying that he extended the opportunity of a free vote to all his residents: "I can't force people to vote one way or another. But you'll find that my Conservative voting tenants will reap the rewards, compared to the people who vote for anyone else. For example, having a place to live."
Bournemouth Council commented on the letter saying: "We too can't force residents to vote one way or another. But we urge them to listen to Mr Wells, as he has done a lot for this town. You wouldn't be able to rejoice at the sight of my Ferrari brightening up the town if it wasn't for him. So vote whichever way you want, but I've got a massive pile of eviction notices just waiting for my stamp of approval."
We asked a local tenant of Mr Wells for their opinion on the letter: "Letter? What? Oh...that. I think I smoked it."
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