The proposal, put forward by AFC Bournemouth chairman Eddie Mitchell, will see the curent functional green metal gates ripped out in favour of the ornate golden design. Mr Mitchell told the Bubble: "After our Olympic design got rejected, I thought hard about what would be in keeping with the local area. And as I looked around, it struck me. Half the people round here are pretty much dead, so I wanted to make them feel at home. And mess with them a bit...for shits and giggles."
"It was this, or gates depicting the Daily Echo offices burning down."
Jesus would support the Cherries
To complete the vision, a smoke machine will also be placed around the gates, to create the illusion that one has actually died and is approaching heaven (or, rather, the version of heaven that has a roundabout in front of it). The plans are also combined with creating a new job as a 'bouncer'. This job will neccessarily require dressing up as Saint Peter and judging anyone who tries to enter.
"We want to ensure that Kings Park only has the right clientele," says Mr Mitchell, "So we will only let in those we think have lived fulfilling lives so far. Everyone else, and anyone working for the Echo, will be told to go to the other place. Yeah...Boscombe..."
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