Poole Bridge Gets the Day Off School

POOLE Lifting Bridge was celebrating yesterday after it was revealed that it would get Wednesday off school due to public sector strikes.The bridge said it would probably spend most of the day "hanging out with mates in Poole Park", playing computer games and generally doing non-educational things: "Getting a day off school don't happen that often. Well, except for weekends. But that's different, innit?"

We don't need no education

Across the area, many schools and colleges are due to close on Wednesday 30th November due to industrial action over pensions by public sector workers. One council worker told us: "It's important to show that we are not tools to reduce the balance sheet. We're people - council workers. firefighters, teache...we're gonna have loads of kids everywhere tomorrow, aren't we? Damn. I didn't think of that, that really isn't going to help our cause, is it?"


Meanwhile, Poole Lifting Bridge said it wasn't aware of the reasons behind the strikes: "Something to do with the government? Did David Cameron ask them to give us a day off? He's alright then, safe."